Solomon the Wise

I am so wise that I do not even need a shirt

Hello my children! I am Solomon, the crazy bearded man with a dog! I am very wise, oh yes, very wise indeed, and I can help you with every problem you will ever have. I am so wise, that I can talk to my dog! His name is Pynchon. He likes to read books by difficult postmodern writers. He also likes Pedigree doggy treats! I am so wise, I know everything that Pynchon likes.

See how bushy and wise-looking my beard is. That's right, I am very wise indeed. Now I am going to go, and ponder over lots of complicated concepts. How wise I am!