Hello there. My name is DH Lawrence, I am a pretentious novelist of the earliest twentieth century. I often write about naughty feelings, and I am obsessed with my mother.

I think I am very clever. I am sure you will agree.

If you don't enjoy my work, it is because you are stupid and don't understand the deep emotional currents that flow through the universe. I understand.

I also like talking about willies.

Dwindling Manhood: In which Donald struggles with his manhood.