Six: Stavros in the supermarket
10/12/03
Where I am coming from in Pantiliki, there is only one shop, it is owned by Mr Rigatos. Here he is weighing a melon:
Mr
Rigatos is liking very big melons. He sells all the many things in his shop that
the people in Pantiliki are wanting, this is why when I come to England I am not
very much understanding these funny shops called 'Supermarkets'. I do not know
why they are super, and they are not at all like the market in Pantiliki. In
Greece the market is selling rugs and small pieces of metal and wood, but in
England the supermarket is selling so many foods! So many that the supermarket
is bigger than the whole town of Pantiliki! If you are confused by the
supermarket, like I was, I help you. I do many research and now I know
everything.
Tesco
This supermarket has an advert with a very annoying old woman who is saying 'Every little helps'. She is old and wrinkled and I do not understand why Tesco do not make an advert with a very beautiful lady wearing only a bikini. The prices in Tesco are good, and the workers are wearing an attractive blue shirt. Sometimes the shirt is too tight for the ladies and I am seeing the bra. That is good.
Asda
This is the cheaper supermarket, for the poor people. The price here is cheap, but I do not shop here so much because the labels on the food is not so pretty, and sometimes the taste is strange. Also the people shopping here are not as beautiful, and I do not want to kiss them. The advert for Asda is lots of ladies slapping their bottoms. I like this advert.
Sainsbury
Sainsbury is so very expensive, I do not understand! Sometimes the very same food is costing many many pennies more, and why are people not just saying no and leaving the shop? There is a strange man who works in Sainsbury, he walks funny and I think he is following me, so I leave.
Waitrose
Only the very rich peoples shop at this Waitrose supermarket. They are selling all of the smoked salmon and the designer chutney. All of the ladies who are shopping in Waitrose are blonde, I think it is dyed hair but I do not care because they are very beautiful and I want to help them take off their clothes.
Coop
At first I think this shop is a coop for chickens, but no, you must say Co-op. I still do not know what it means, I think it is short for co-operate, which is strange because the lady working here is not co-operating when I ask her to kiss me. This is a smaller supermarket opening late for the drunks and the people wanting cigarettes. The boy who works in the Co-op has a terrible moustache that he must learn to shave, it is looking bad and the very beautiful ladies are never sleeping with him.
I thank you very much for reading my guide to the supermarkets of England. I hope you are finding it helps your life, and soon you will be buying many foods and not being confused. I will see you soon, you love me.