Two: Pippin ventures next door
Hello! It’s me again! Pippin, the little cat who is so funny! Now that you know all about my owners and my mean housemate Rosie, I can tell you all about my exciting day-to-day adventures! And every day is an adventure for Pippin! I am so funny! This week I went outside for the very first time. It was so sunny that I decided to venture down the steps to the garden. But when I got to the bottom of the steps I found something very exciting! There were holes in the fence into Mr Steve Fatty’s house! Mr Steve Fatty is our next-door neighbour and he loves weeds and brambles so much that he lets them grow all over his garden. He just lets them grow and never tries to cut them down, even when they start growing into other people’s gardens! Isn’t that funny! And it is rather funny that his name is Mr Fatty, because he really is very fat indeed! Sometimes I think he must have eaten a big cow! (His wife! Hee hee! No, actually, he is so fat and grumpy that he could never make someone be his wife. Not unless he killed her first!) Anyway, I decided to sneak through one of the holes in the fence. As my bottom squeezed through the gap, I heard Jan behind me saying to Adrian, “Oh no, Pippin’s gone into Fatty’s garden! She’ll never come back!”
“A-ha!” I thought to myself, “I shall never be vanquished by evil Fatty! I will wee on his doorstep and run away! That will teach him to be so grumpy!” And do you know what? I did just that! “Look Adrian!” said Jan from over the fence, “Pippin is weeing on Fatty’s doorstep! Oh, she is so funny!” As I scampered back towards the fence I saw Fatty looking out of his window, eating some black pudding. He seemed to be muttering angrily to himself (or maybe he was reciting German from a listen-and-learn cassette tape. Farmer Piggin used to do that). Well, I managed to make it back through the fence safely, much to Jan’s surprise. “Naughty Pippin” she said, “You could have been killed” But I just smiled and rolled onto my back.
“Oh Pippin” said Jan, “You are so funny!”