One: Pippin meets Rosie
It all began at 11am one misty morning in August, in the barn where I was born. Mummy and daddy were sleeping, and I was busy looking for spiders in the hay. Suddenly the doors burst open, and in walked the farmer, Mr Piggin. I never liked Mr Piggin, he always smelled funny, like poo. There were two strangers with Mr Piggin. They were both small (though not as small as me, I was so tiny, I could fit in the palm of a person’s hand and my bottom only hung off the edge a little tiny bit!), one had a beard, and one was a man. (Hee hee! Just a little joke there! I am so funny!) I didn’t realise that these two small people were Jan and Adrian, my new owners! Farmer Piggin put me in a little box, (I didn’t like it in that box, it smelt like Farmer Piggin) and I was whisked away, never to see my mummy and daddy again. I didn’t mind too much, as mummy and daddy were always being boring and talking about the news, even when I was trying to show them the new snail that I had caught. They would always say things like “Have you heard, Mrs Piggin is making Farmer Piggin sleep in the porch, because he drank a bottle of her best perfume!”
Anyway, when the box was eventually opened I was in a
new place – it wasn’t very much like the barn – it had a carpet and it
smelled so lovely! There were so many new places to explore and wee in! I was so excited
that I ran off under the dressing table and climbed up into one of the drawers, but then I
got stuck there and had to call to Jan to get me out. “Oh Adrian” said Jan when
she found me, “Look where I’ve found Pippin! She is so funny!” She
took me downstairs and put me in the kitchen, and that was when it happened. A huge shadow
appeared near the door and the ground began to shudder. Suddenly, there burst through a
hole in the door the fattest, meanest looking cat I had ever seen. “Look
Pippin!” Jan exclaimed, “It’s Rosie! Your new best friend!” Rosie was
glowering as if someone had pooed in her milk. (It was me! Oh, I am so funny!) I
decided Rosie needed cheering up, so I pounced on her tail. She hadn’t seemed to
notice, so I took a running jump and leapt on her head! But boring Rosie just ran off, so
I chased her all the way down the hall. “Adrian!” Jan called, “Come and
look at Pippin chasing Rosie! Oh, she is so funny!”
I have been living with Rosie for a whole year now, and she still hasn’t spoken to me – not once! All she ever does is lie in a chair sleeping and watching Countdown. Silly Rosie! I still jump on her head sometimes. Hee! Aren’t I funny?