17th Oct 2002
Pope John Paul II was this week awarded the Nobel prize for the most outstanding work in literature. One government spokesman, Hugh Bogrush MP, commented, “We were particularly impressed by Mr Pope’s masterful poem, The rape of the lock which we presume to be a comment on the increasing amount of burglary in Catholic countries.”
When questioned, Pope John scuttled off into his chariot, and began revving the engine, muttering what sounded like “those stupid idiots”. However, he may in fact have been saying “Dies stoppi diotes”, Italian for “Ducks are fun”.