George Bush announces obligatory Flag Hats for all US citizens

The US president George W. Bush today announced the introduction of mandatory Flag Hats for all citizens of the United States. Starting next week, the flag hats must be worn at all times, even in bed. Standing next to a giant Flag Hat monument, Mr Bush explained, "The introduction of this Flag Hat will help our government to identify terrorists. Any person found not wearing a Flag Hat will be considered to be a terrorist and will be gunned down. This is a great step in cleaning the country of those terrorist folks".

The Flag hat comes in a range of styles, from the Top Hat (modelled below) to the Dunce-style hat worn by President Bush.

This boy, from Houston, Texas, said, "I like my Flag Hat. Most clothes don't fit me but this hat fits just fine."

The Flag Hat initiative will be supported by a poster campaign, designed by President Bush himself. The posters, shown below, must be displayed in every public building and on the car windscreen of every person living in the United States. Anyone not displaying a poster will face the Death penalty.

The hats can also be teamed with a range of "Patriot" casual wear, which can be purchased from an official US Government website, launched today. Click here to visit the Patriot website.

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