Happy Neil's start of term

This week I have been asked to write about the beginning of term. I don't really want to write anything at all, I would rather be studying differential geometry.  I hate the beginning of term, because lots of new people arrive and start trying to make 'friends'. I hate 'friendship'. I think anyone who has any 'friends' should be taken out into the street and shot. In 'Forest of doom' for the X-box I can shoot whoever I want, and if I was allowed, I would shoot everyone in Cambridge with my grandad's rifle.

If you are a fresher, I hate you most of all. You are stupid and don't know as much about imaginary numbers as I do. Fortunately for you, you will probably never meet me, because I only ever talk to people who study maths, and then only to laugh because I solved all the equations our supervisor set us and they didn't. I hate the people who study maths with me, because they are always asking stupid questions like 'Is the answer four or five?' when the answer is Pi.

At the beginning of term, some people 'decorate' their rooms to make them look 'nice'. I hate 'decoration' and 'comfort'. It is pointless because we are all going to die eventually anyway.

If you are looking forward to this year at University, I hope you are burnt to a cinder by Argon Lord of the Bonsai Tribe.

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