Dear Elle,
28th Nov 2002
I have a terrible problem – you must help me. As you may know, each year I compile a list detailing which children have been good and which bad. This year, however, Mrs Claus and I decided to get with the times and make all our lists electronic. I bought myself one of these new-fangled PC-roms (the man in PC World was very surprised when I arrived in my sleigh! Ho Ho Ho!), and transferred all my lists to the computer. At first all was well, as the email system is much easier than notes sent up the chimney. But then yesterday, whilst I was down-receiving one of my email letters, a horrible virus attacked my computer, and all my lists were lost! Now I have no record at all of who is good and who is bad, and I hoped you might be able to help me, as your wisdom is internationally reputed. You are my last chance.
Yours in desperation,
Dear Santa,
I am always very good, so you should send me lots of presents. I am always helping my cat Trouble move around the house by picking him up by the tail and carrying him about. He likes that a lot, and makes lots of happy squeaking noises.
There is a little boy at my crèche called Daniel, who is older than me and he is not very nice. He is mean to everyone and doesn’t share anything, so I usually push him in the sandpit and he gets all dirty.
I think you should send lots of presents to Cinderella from Disney’s Cinderella, because she is always very kind. I know she is married to the Prince now and so probably has lots of pretty necklaces, but maybe she would like a racing car or a motorbike. I would like a motorbike for Christmas. My Uncle Russell has a very big motorbike and he drives it very fast and sometimes gets told off by the police. I like my Uncle Russell. I don’t like that silly man on the television called Ainsley Harriet. He is always laughing too loud at things that aren’t funny, and he has a girl’s name. He isn’t very good.
I think you should send lots of presents to all the nice monsters on Sesame Street. I like that song that Grover sings that goes Wobba wobba wobba wobba woo woo woo, wobba wobba wobba and a doodly doo. I would like a tape of that song for Christmas. I think Grover might like some trousers as a present, because he never wears any and his bottom must get cold sometimes.
I like Christmas lots, but sometimes my daddy gets annoyed with my mummy, because she has not fixed the green tinsel onto the wall properly, and it falls into the fire. I hope you have a nice Christmas. I will send you a Christmas card.
Love Elle xxx