Dear Elle,
Hello my name is Alexandre and the little girl photograph insighted me a vision of Beatrice Dante angelic muse. It wouldn´t be a bad idea for a theatre venue giving her a chance to wind up a deliberative sense. Therefore I want one particular advice, and I guess it is the perfect one for a lovely child as you must be Ella, so what can I do to find the one female of my dreams - a real godess like Venus.
Tell
me please Ella.
My best regards
Alexandre xxx
Dear Alexandre
Why do you talk in that funny way? I don't think that you can have paid attention at school because when you write it doesn't make sense and you sound a bit silly. What is Beatrice Dante? I think maybe it is that tomato sauce my daddy puts on his pasta, but I don't know why a photo of a little girl would make you think of pasta sauce.
I don't really know what "wind up a deliberative sense" means, but sometimes my daddy tries to wind up my Uncle Russell by calling him bald and funny-looking so maybe that is what you mean. Or are you talking about wind, because my daddy gets wind when he eats a curry and I have to go and hide in my room and block up the bottom of the door with toys so the smell doesn't get me.
The other thing that you did wrong is you keep calling me Ella, but my name is Elle! Once a teacher at school called me Ella and I said "Hey! My name is Elle, so don't get it wrong!" and I think that teacher was very sorry after that. If you want to find the lady of your dreams then you will have to learn to get her name right or she might be cross with you and throw a pie in your face.
I know you said you want to find a goddess, but this might be quite difficult, because only gods can live on Mount Olympus, it says so on Disney's Hercules. If you want to go to Mount Olympus then you have to prove that you are a true hero, so you will need to find a little goat-man called Phil who will sing you a song about being a hero.
If you still can't find a lady then you could look in the newspaper at those little adverts for lonely people who want a nice friend.
love Elle xxx