Dear Elle, 28th December 2003
I work for a PR company, and there is a man in my office who I really fancy. The trouble is that he doesn't seem to know I exist. I have tried wearing low-cut blouses and short skirts, but to no avail. He just walks straight past me. It's the Christmas party tomorrow, and I really want him to notice me.
Is there any way I can get his attention without compromising myself too much? .
yours,
Amanda Manson
Dear Amanda,
What is a PR company? Is it like being in prison? Because prison begins with pr, I learnt that.
I don't really understand why wearing a short skirt would make that man notice you. If you want attention you have to do funny things like I do. I am very good at getting attention. But you have to be careful because sometimes if you try too hard to get attention then you can get into trouble, like I do.
Yesterday I got lots of attention after I pooed in George the dogs bed, but it was not very nice because mummy shouted at me. Then she said she would make me sleep in the porch, which made me happy because I wanted to sleep in the porch with George the dog, who is my friend. But mummy didn't make me sleep in the porch, and I got cross. So this morning I found daddy's keys and went into the garage and pulled lots of things off the shelves, because I was cross.
Then I tied George the dog to the coal basket with some tinsel, so that he wouldn't get away when I was telling him a story. But George the dog wasn't listening properly, and his breath was all smelly, so I tried to wash him with the special soap that daddy uses on the car, but it made a mess on the carpet and I got into lots of trouble.
If you do lots of naughty things like me, then you will get lots of attention. Maybe you should tie that man to a chair with some tinsel, and then he will notice you.
I like parties.
Love Elle xxx